I would like to help, but seeing as I'm not very experienced in this myself, the best I can do other than agreeing with what others have said is to attempt to find someone new, help take your mind off of her. Also try not to think of her too much, maybe get to the point to where she's just a really good friend, but nothing more.
Alright guys, who wants napalm donuts?!
Thank you everyone for trying to help. I have tried moving on many many times, and like I said, I've even dated a few other girls, but in the end it all comes down to this girl. It looks like I'll just have to find someone pretty much identical to this girl to be happy relationship wise.
No, you shouldn't do that. If you go about your love life comparing every single person to an ideal, to this woman on a pedestal, instead of appreciating and enjoying the little quirks, eccentricities and differences that make a person unique and loveable - loving a person for who zhe is as it were, rather than who you'd want zher to be - then you're going to be MISERABLE, because you'll probably never find someone "good enough" for your monstrously immature and unfair standards.
I say this with the most courteous possible intent, forget her and move on; you'll thank yourself later.
What Vic said.
John Hancock. that was a joke ladies and gentlemen
If you were to think of it from the point of view from someone who was trying to date you while you were still hung on this girl, it would be very difficult. Like Vic said, if she is a "model" of the type of person you want to date, you wont forget about that girl at all, it will only remind you. Also it would be nearly impossible to find someone exactly like that, chances are that you'de be much better off finding someone still in your personal preferences. Don't consider that girl as "the model" per-say, just think of her as something along the lines of she was almost there. You'll most likely find someone a lot more to you're liking. I'm afraid I can't and I shouldn't tell you what to do about how to move on, but the best course of action for that seems coming to terms that it wont work out, or it can't work out for whatever reasons, accept it into the back of your head. Facing reality head on might help, but everyone has their own way of dealing with things.
Alright guys, who wants napalm donuts?!
If she isn't interested then she isn't interested. You're not going to get out of the "friendzone" and its best to back off before you end up destroying a friendship that you would have rather have kept in retrospect. There's nothing wrong with just being friends.
Originally Posted by Aval
Just so everyone knows, I've already promised myself to never mention it to her again. I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips on how I could subtly get more noticed by her, like, what sticks out to a girl?
You'll need a girl's help on that one, and there aren't any girls on the internet. Sorry, dude.
John Hancock. that was a joke ladies and gentlemen
You can't subtly get more noticed by her. You guys don't see each other often anyway. This is not a romantic Hollywood movie. There is no ideal ending, no turning around before the flight leaves, no cancelled wedding for your sake -- It's been 4 years, Xiox. And you can't promise yourself to never mention it to her again while at the same time still trying to get romantically involved with her.
I've been in a relationship for more than 3 years by now. Yeah, we started on the foundation of a friendship, but by the time we realized our mutual interest in each other grew to something more we decided to try for a relationship. There's a time at the start where everything is romantic and new and you explore each other. Afterwards you better make sure you can love the other person for who they are. You've spent the last 4 years thinking about this girl, perfecting and fine-tuning her in your mind. (And don't tell me you haven't, because I can see from your posts that you have) You don't actually know her. You haven't lived with her, slept with her, cooked with her, shopped with her, traveled with her, seen her at her very best or at her very worst.
Without this knowledge... And with the fact she isn't interested how the hell are you going to expect anything good from this?
At most I could see this girl finally giving up to humor you and let you become her 'boyfriend'. Then, after a while, you realize that she isn't this pinnacle of perfection. You'll be disappointed, sure, but this is the one and only, right? So you keep it up while at the same time you two grow bored of each other. You've explored her enough to figure out she's imperfect and she's patiently waiting for the right time to dump you so you can finally get your closure.
And then you stop being friends and you realize you've wasted the past 4 years to get laid with some girl who 'treated you like dirt' when in reality you were the only person responsible for what happened.
Also, if I was this girl and I found this thread? I'd be creeped out to hell and back by you. This is one sick, sick obsession.
Perfect description. Wish I said it.
You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.
Ok ok, I get it... no more her.
Man, I feel like we've kind of been too blunt with Xiox. Xiox, buddy, I'm really sorry. I think, though, that after you've moved on, you'll look back and feel like you made the right decision. Bitches always be ackin' cray-cray, and we just gotta deal with it and find the least cray-cray girl we can. Before you ask, yes, I'm a huge misogynist. Also, I'm sarcastic.
John Hancock. that was a joke ladies and gentlemen
I managed to "get out" of the friend zone just by going and getting lunch or watching a movie every so often with the girl. After a while, she asked me out since we were practically going out already. While I didn't technically ask her out before, she was that one girl who friend zoned every guy she met.
But I'm with becca on the concept of this thread. It's sickening, and would ruin any chances with her.
Last edited by Ivyn; September 19th, 2012 at 05:55 AM.
He claimed he was the creator of the universe, walked through a wall, and came back with a burger.
How dare she not be interested in a relationship with anyone.
Clearly she was interested with some people, but I digress.
However the girl Xiox likes may be similar to the girl I mentioned. However at this point it's unlikely my method would work for him.
He claimed he was the creator of the universe, walked through a wall, and came back with a burger.
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