It's okay to stare?

[BlueLily]

Sometimes talking isn't needed. But you already know that, I just wanted to point it out since more people talk garbage instead.

THIS is an example of it, mind the cheesey artful title.

Ever had people you can just sit, chill, and be at peace with without saying a word?

Because most people panic when I'm quiet for some reason. They take my silence as a sign of boredom, saddness, or something when really I'm just chilling lol. People just need to practice how to sense someone's energy I suppose if that is entirely possible to master.

[Rockonman]

Sometimes talking isn't needed.

When is that true? I've never found that to be the case.

I just wanted to point it out since more people talk garbage instead.

Where have you been?

[Killing_Time]

Finding comfort in another person's company really doesn't require talking in order to work. I personally haven't experienced that sort of socializing with anyone but close friends, family and my boyfriend. Of course there are also those rare moments where the atmosphere around a complete stranger or the surrounding situation makes this kind of moment happen. It's a nice sensation because to me, it's a type of understanding I normally only expect to happen with people I know well.

Rockonman, I am sure you don't verbally interact constantly with anyone you are in the same room with. That would be insane.

Reading the article the whole 'exchanging energies' thing sounds immensely silly, but I guess people of different walks of life will describe this situation in their own way.

[Mattbot]

I just wanted to point it out since more people talk garbage instead.

Where have you been?

Personal news thread I think. OHHHHHH SNAAAAAAP

[RustyMagnum]

I'd prefer if people would actually look at each other, talking or not, its bothering or downright annoying when someone constantly avoids eye contact.

[Paperback Writer]

I am aware that someone has read this post. I thank them for their time.

[Polo]

I am aware that someone has read this post. I thank them for their time.

np, now back into the rape cage plz

[Victory]

I'd prefer if people would actually look at each other, talking or not, its bothering or downright annoying when someone constantly avoids eye contact.

Well, see, that depends on the social context. In Sweden, you're considered rude if you look someone in the eye for more than a few seconds at a time without breaking away. It's imposing and uncomfortable, because that's not the cultural norm of behaviour in this country; we briefly look someone in the eye to establish a social connection and then we look away to give the person his/her personal space. The only time we look someone in the eye consistently is when we're listening or during strong emotions, otherwise we tend to look at other things and periodically look back to re-establish contact.

As annoying as this is to you, this is considered polite in Sweden and superimposing another cultural norm onto a person with set standards is also very annoying.

Now, sometimes it has nothing to do with cultural norms, sometimes it's just the person who dislikes looking people in the eye and I have to be honest here - I don't see the problem. If this inhibition cripples his social life then yes, he should get help correcting it, but if it doesn't and he just doesn't like looking people in the eye, then guess what - it's none of your damn business.

Also, try to go through a single conversation where you're looking someone in the eye constantly. The other person is bound to be freaked out and mostly like be very sceptical of what you're talking about because continuous eye contact is a sign of anxiety, stress, and most likely means the person is either lying or hiding something. It's also fucking creepy.

[RustyMagnum]

I didn't mean people should stare at each other all the time, although my post seems a bit easy to misunderstand now that i read it again. As cultural differences between Swedes and Finns are fairly smooth, we too prefer not to look each other in the eyes for a longer time than maybe a few seconds. Its in fact very bothering when someone keeps staring at you the whole time.
What i meant to say was that it bothers me even as much as constant staring if someone's eye stray right away from you. I work with people, and it gets really annoying after a while. It gives you a feeling that they don't really want your help - and it becomes my business when it hampers my job.

[Shinoi]

Well, see, that depends on the social context. In Sweden, you're considered rude if you look someone in the eye for more than a few seconds at a time without breaking away. It's imposing and uncomfortable, because that's not the cultural norm of behaviour in this country; we briefly look someone in the eye to establish a social connection and then we look away to give the person his/her personal space. The only time we look someone in the eye consistently is when we're listening or during strong emotions, otherwise we tend to look at other things and periodically look back to re-establish contact.

That's interesting, in Slovenian culture it's considered rude NOT to look into person's eye and looking away could be a sign of hiding something or being uncomfortable. I guess you'd find us creepy, we constantly look at each other's eyes.

[BlueLily]

That's interesting, in Slovenian culture it's considered rude NOT to look into person's eye and looking away could be a sign of hiding something or being uncomfortable. I guess you'd find us creepy, we constantly look at each other's eyes.

This is how I pretty much grown up to. If you look away, your hidding something or rudefully gazing away as to impose "your not important enough to gaze at". But you know, the entire thing changes when it involves couples. The more someone is attracted to the other, the more they stare. Although some men have confessed to me that they sometimes avoid contact to an attractive woman because of nervousness, intimidation, and shyness.

Although I think the article talks about more then just gazing, but sensing someone's 'aura' I suppose?

np, now back into the rape cage plz

Like this for example, lmfao.

[Tobu]

I'd prefer if people would actually look at each other, talking or not, its bothering or downright annoying when someone constantly avoids eye contact.

Same here. I like meeting new people, but I can't start a proper conversation with anyone I don‘t know very well. It feels very uncomfortable to me so I prefer just shutting up. But I like getting eye contact and, I don't know but it feels like I can actually communicate with people just via eye contact sometimes.
like understanding what each other is thinking. Probably sounds weird go you.

[DrunkCat]

I never make eye contact. It always feels uncomfortable for me because I don't know how to do it. I don't know how long and at what angle sends what type of signal. I was never really taught how to properly socialize outside the usual get-thrown-into-a-lake method of teaching. I also tend to lose track of what I do naturally so I sometimes become paranoid that I might forget that I'm still staring at someone. I do try to make eye contact though when I remember about it; but like I said without a clear understanding of how the other person interprets it I'd rather play safe and not do it at all.

On the topic at hand, I can and do feel comfortable in shared silence. Your body gives off a lot more signals than you can imagine, verbal being almost a fraction of the exchange between persons. You don't have to understand we're a bag of chemicals and we can 'smell' the chemicals of others to feel the 'connection' as described in the article. I mean, I also use the word 'aura' to encapsulate this phenomena to more easily transmit my ideas and thoughts.

[Tobu]

I can relate to that DC.
Sometimes I have moments where I feel the exact same way, it differs a lot depending on my mood, situation and the people around me.

[Rockonman]

Personal news thread I think. OHHHHHH SNAAAAAAP

I meant that if he didn't know that people talked dirty than he's been very isolated.

I never make eye contact. It always feels uncomfortable for me because I don't know how to do it. I don't know how long and at what angle sends what type of signal. I was never really taught how to properly socialize outside the usual get-thrown-into-a-lake method of teaching. I also tend to lose track of what I do naturally so I sometimes become paranoid that I might forget that I'm still staring at someone. I do try to make eye contact though when I remember about it; but like I said without a clear understanding of how the other person interprets it I'd rather play safe and not do it at all.

This is also true for me. Don't know how to ask what is and isn't creepy/weird without being that.