Depression stuff

[Bloody Shadow]

Hey guys. When I was 14 I had the first signs of depression, and now (I'm almost 16), I'm starting to go to therapy and they are giving me anti depressant pills. The first month they were working, but they increased the dose to 1 and a 1/2 pills.

But they are NOT working now. I started to litrelally hate life. I tried to think possitive but I can't! I became short tempered and always thinking about suicide. Everyday is the same. I'm always sad. Friends and family help, but never cure this.

I tried jumping off the roof...my mother stopped me...

I need your help guys. Tell me ways to start thinking positive please! I can't think positive! Please give me some ideas.

Please take this topic seriously. This is NOT a joke.

[Polo]

What is it that makes you hate life?

[Bloody Shadow]

Everything...Everytime I go somewhere, everytime I do something I'm always sad and end up thinking about everything bad that happened to me. I can't think positive! =/

[Shinoi]

Think like this: what would happen if you made suicide? Nothing good. Your family would be sad, your friends would be sad and you would miss the beauty of life. Don't do suicide! Think about how much people care for you. This care is shown by how much they want to make you happy, to get rid of your depression. Look around and ask yourself: what do I miss? What is wrong with my life? Answer is: nothing.
Your family and friends love you and they need you. By making suicide, you would make them sad. You are only 16 and have whole life in front of you! Don't waste it!
You can start thinking positive by knowing you are loved and having one goal to achieve, dreams to go after. Life is not so dark as you may think. Remember happy memories, remember what makes you happy. Being happy is key to achieve something. If you won't achieve anything, then you're sad.
Don't ask yourself: what have I achieved? Ask: what CAN I achieve? You are young yet and have so much in front of you. By making suicide you would make more harm and no good.
Don't think about bad things. Past is past! It's future you should think about!
I don't have much experince in dealing with depression, but try my advice and Vic's. His makes more sense.

[Victory]

Talk to your doctor. Seriously, you're not going to get the strength to survive this by talking to strangers on the internet. Talk to your family, talk to your doctor to either change your prescription or change their treatment all together. There's nothing I can say that will convince you that life is worth it, because life is all about experience - you just have to try it yourself.

[Cajolocs]

I started partying hard and watching spirit science...

But nw I don't have a girlfirend, all my friends are out and spirit science is over so the voices are comming back...

[Victory]

This is Shadow's thread, make your own thread if you want to complain.

[sgt_Angua]

Having never had to deal with the kind of depression you're talking about I'm not sure if I'm qualified to give advice. Having said that whenever I was feeling lonely at college I would watch online videos. Often of cute animals (kittens are always fun) or of Mitchell and Webb sketches which are extremely funny. The other place I would go was 'The Escapist' which has many amusing and/or interesting series like Zero Punctuation, Unskippable, Extra Credit, or Daily Drop if you just want to see things fall and break taken with a high speed video camera.

You can always come to me for kitten videos or just a friendly ear if you need to vent or talk.

I really don't know the secret for turning negative thinking into positive thinking so I often try to just watch something and kinda stop thinking all together and hopefully not feel as bad once I start thinking again, or at least just have a little break from my negative thoughts.

Edit: I forgot to mention the That Guy With the Glasses website which has a ton of reviewers, but their videos are hard to watch if you have a slow connection. Zero Punctuation on the other hand will load under almost any conditions.

[Bloody Shadow]

Think like this: what would happen if you made suicide? Nothing good. Your family would be sad, your friends would be sad and you would miss the beauty of life. Don't do suicide! Think about how much people care for you. This care is shown by how much they want to make you happy, to get rid of your depression. Look around and ask yourself: what do I miss? What is wrong with my life? Answer is: nothing.
Your family and friends love you and they need you. By making suicide, you would make them sad. You are only 16 and have whole life in front of you! Don't waste it!
You can start thinking positive by knowing you are loved and having one goal to achieve, dreams to go after. Life is not so dark as you may think. Remember happy memories, remember what makes you happy. Being happy is key to achieve something. If you won't achieve anything, then you're sad.
Don't ask yourself: what have I achieved? Ask: what CAN I achieve? You are young yet and have so much in front of you. By making suicide you would make more harm and no good.

The only thing I would find I think, is rest. People would miss me, but just for a short time. I never ever thought about myself, this would be my first time. Everyone has a limite.

And Victory I did talk to my family, they dont understand. At first they made fun of me cause I was feeling like this. The moment they realised that I wasn't joking when I was about to do it. If I tell my doctor, he would just increase the dose....nothing else...

sgt_angua, lately I started watching alot of movies, but about 3 weeks ago (when the depression kicked in again) I started to get bored and become sad again. It's not working anymore.

[Shadowtime23]

Man, this made me really, really sad.
So this is some serious stuff. I don't think I can help you more than saying that you're a great friend and it would hurt a lot to lose you.

Okay, here's an idea: Stop with the spooky/dark/bloody themed stuff like your avatar and maybe horror/torture movies and look into bright and happy, innocent stuff instead - how about my little pony? I'm serious, I'm sure this affects you a lot.

I wish I could be around you to tell you how to behave or cheer you up when you're down.

We love you, man. Also smoke weed

[Polo]

Everything...Everytime I go somewhere, everytime I do something I'm always sad and end up thinking about everything bad that happened to me. I can't think positive! =/

Just wait it out, man. These feelings can often fade with age and no doubt being a teenager isn't helping.

A video for your thoughts:


The only thing I can say is: Don't give up. There's no point in it. You'll miss the chance of ever finding your happiness. Other than that, go to your doctor. And find someone who will listen to your thoughts. You can always rant here if it makes you feel any better.

[Victory]

And Victory I did talk to my family, they dont understand. At first they made fun of me cause I was feeling like this. The moment they realised that I wasn't joking when I was about to do it. If I tell my doctor, he would just increase the dose....nothing else...

2 words: Second Opinion. If your doctor just wants to increase the dose, say no. Tell them you want/need better treatment. You need therapy for one thing since depression can't be cured with drugs, just ignored. The underlying issue is still there, and drugs should be a complimentary solution to a deeper solution plan.

[Bloody Shadow]

It's been almost 2 years!...I just can't wait anymore...It's been too long. Talking about how I feel does help, but later I just start thinking about everything again. Many people tell me to wait to find happiness but, I just can't wait anymore. The more I live, the more problems I face...

Shadowtime, thanks that means alot...but like I said...every single type of movie I watch doesn't help. Sometimes I even stop paying attention to the movie and start thinking again...

Victory, the only thing that made me alittle happy and forget the problems of my life was just 3 days ago when I drank some drinks with my friends and I became alittle happy. But I don't want to become alcoholic.

[Polo]

Talking about how I feel does help, but later I just thinking about everything again.

Well like I said, if talking helps and every time you feel bad, just dump a rant about things. Rants can be pretty therapeutic.

[Bloody Shadow]

Thanks alot

[Killing_Time]

My ex was on some pills that made him feel absolutely terrible all the time. He got a new prescription which changed his life completely and he ended up with the highest grade in class the year we graduated.

It's good you're getting help for this, but since it seems to not be enough it's most likely problems with the current prescription or your therapist (If you dislike him it's an issue) and you ought to change that ASAP!

[Shinoi]

The only thing I would find I think, is rest. People would miss me, but just for a short time. I never ever thought about myself, this would be my time. Everyone has a limite.

This is when you need to stop. You are wrong.
Do you think your mother would miss you for a short time? If your mother died, would you miss her for days or years? I think you would go for last one, right? Same would be with you. Your family would be DEVASTATED. And how can you talk about limit? Nothing horrible has happened to you, I believe. If your whole family was murdered, then that would be different, but now, I think it's just a worse version of normal teenage depression. Hold it now, I'm not making fun out of you. I'm just saying that I think you may be exaggerating a little. Nothing really bad enough has happened to you to make a suicide or think so gloomy. I'm sorry, but it's very difficult to deal with such problems over the internet. But you will eventually get over this, I believe.
Like Polo said, rant here if it helps you getting out your stress.

[sgt_Angua]

Shadowtime, thanks that means alot...but like I said...every single type of movie I watch doesn't help. Sometimes I even stop paying attention to the movie and start thinking again...

I find short things are often more helpfully distracting, but that's just me. Try out this Mitchell and Webb sketch.

[Bloody Shadow]

Killing time, so the pills could be the reason why the depression came back again?

Shinoi_Ookami, I don't know...But the thing is, that I lost hope for cures. Thats why I'm giving up.

Funny video by the way sgt_angua

[Shinoi]

Shinoi_Ookami, I don't know...But the thing is, that I lost hope for cures. Thats why I'm giving up.

When I was your age, I had trouble with depression too. When my parents divorced, I moved with my mother far away from my previous home. Here, when I came, I wasn't accepted because I was an outsider. For 4 years I was discriminated (and where I was before, for 5 years for being atheist). This drove me to deep depression and thoughts of suicide. But then, I discovered art. By drawing a comic with my own story, I got my stress out and I inserted my feelings in story. Guess what? It worked. By drawing I got stress and depression out of myself. I was happier and when I came to highschool, I was finally accepted because of this.
What am I trying to tell you is, you have to find a way to releive yourself, be it art, photographing, whatever. By finding this, you'll feel better.
See? If I and many other people went through this and even worse stuff, there is NO WAY you couldn't.

[Ivyn]

I also had some major depression when my mom died, I was able to overcome the depression by doing things i love, such as coding and drawing. Just do things you enjoy doing and try getting things off your chest that bother you. whenever you want. And like shinoi said, there is no way you couldn't get over what others have been through.

[sgt_Angua]

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist? You would have to find one you could get along with and talk to comfortably but it might help. Your family might be different but I have an easier time getting through to my parents when my psychiatrist backs me up.

[Bloody Shadow]

Thanks guys alot.
Sgt_Angua, ya I'm seeing one already, but not helping alot. I do feel better when I talk to her...but still.
Ivyn and Shinoi_Ookami, I sorry for your loss. I'm still trying to find something to make my life better. But thats the problem. I can't find anything.

[Zolen]

At 9 I was diagnosed with ADHD, givin pills that they said would help me, I was instead put in a never ending state of major depression, I tried several times to use the ideas that others gave me. It failed and near the end of those attempts (12) I was paranoid and no longer trust people. At 14 was the first time I attempted Suicide, and the last, I tried to make it look like a accident by jumping from a cliff near my house.

I was caught by a tree so the worst I got from it is a lot of scratches and a twisted arm. While in the hospital for the short time I was there I meant a kid who was obsessed with books, comics and cartoons. She was not under a drug influenced depression like me, living with it her whole life, so maybe she had more experience but from what she did. She made herself look forward to something. She could not wait for the next book to her favorite series, she wanted to have a chance to get to turn to the next page on her favorite comic, she wanted to get to watch her favorite cartoon. From her I decided to start reading, looking forward to the tales the authors told, hanging closely to stories of bravery and luck.

I never thought about suicide again, and thanks to those stories I was able to keep stable minded enough to realize what the drugs were doing to me and refused the medication. True mine was a medically induced, but I was under the influence of that drug from 9 to 16, I had forgotten how I used to be, so I learned from that and kept with those books, I picked up things that I liked to use as a way to keep me going and eventually got rid of what was left of the medical induced depressions effects.

It's a state of mind that you are having problems with, its hard to think positive if you don't try to find something to look forward to.

[Bloody Shadow]

Thats the problem. I can't find anything to look forward to. Things that before made me happy now they don't.