BanHammor's Showoff Thread

[BanHammor]

Hello. I don't know where to put this stuff. On one hand, the drawings and writing are not mine. On the other hand, I am translating it all to English, and nobody else. On the third hand... Oh wait, that would be Yurlyn talking.
Anyways, the Hello ACY was a popular webcomic in Russia. It was funny. It had very good artwork. It concerned various popular topics. Why "was"? Because the comic died this year, after a lot of infrequent posting.
Numeration is random, and not tied to the numeraton of the actual comic.
Here, I am to share it, because no one else will.

Post 1: His Name Was Robert Culp

[Killing_Time]

You use way too many 'the's.

[Shadowtime23]

So do you have a webpage for all of these or have you decided to put them up one by one?

[BanHammor]

So do you have a webpage for all of these or have you decided to put them up one by one?

I have decided to put them on as soon as I translate them. There is a webpage containing all of them in Russian, and it's address is in the lowest part of the picture.

[BanHammor]

Here is a cover song of ours. We did it for the school graduation day.

[Maddermadcat]

You're singing, yeah, banhammor?

For the love of God, do something with your hands to make yourself not seem awkward as shit. Grab the mic or something. Loosen up, too -- you really don't seem into what you're doing at all.

[BanHammor]

Yeah, I am singing. I know that I was very nervous at the time, but this was my first performance after all.
Also known problems: that guy with the Les Paul was not heard half the time. and that guy with the Ibanez is often lagging behind.

[Shadowtime23]

Pretty okay, considering it was your first time.

[Maddermadcat]

Yeah, I am singing. I know that I was very nervous at the time, but this was my first performance after all.

Fair enough.

[Victory]

All I can hear is singing and drums - where are the instruments?

Also, that's a pretty boring song. I've never heard it before so I can't really judge your performance, but it really didn't catch my interest. Also, I merged your threads, like you wanted. You're welcome.

[BanHammor]

Thank you, Vic.
A pretty boring song it is because a)That guy with the black Les Paul (In the orange shirt) was barely heard, as we did not have time for soundcheck. Bass went to pretty equal hell.
b) It goes on in a language you simply cannot understand, and the lyrics were a pretty big part of the song.

[Zolen]

Hm, sounds like your singing is a little flat there (granted I am a horrible singer so maybe I can't give good advice on the subject), or maybe it's just how the music seemed as you said half of it was to quiet and half of it was lagging behind.

[BanHammor]

Here, a quick scope of my emotions. I am going to release demos in days, but you just gotta wait.

Ahoy, MadderMadcat, Vic, etc, you can call me emo all you want.


I question my own sanity with this.
Who knows if I imagined all of that?
A flashing moment, an eternal kiss.
But as time passes, memory goes flat.

She has a voice, but she chose not to sing.
He had a tact, but flushed it down a hole.
I know, it will not hurt, but it will sting.
The waste of happiness, distrust in your own role.

I am alone, not hunting for a match.
Which makes me layers higher than the most.
Yet everyone just seems so much detached.
I'm beating on the door that's long been closed.

This statement is a lie, like all above.
Who gives the right to judge the other ways?
Who gives the definition of your love?
And don't say like "The old man says".

I know someone who's better than I am.
Who has the courage to say "no" one day.
I want to help her, but don't want to ram.
Into her life, and I don't wanna pray.

I've been so static my entire life.
I want to shake it up a little bit.
I've been suppressed since I was only five.
I know, I know.
I am a piece of sh-t.

[Rockonman]

She has a voice, but she chosesnot to sing.
He had tact, but flushed it down a hole.

Really good poem, except that.

[Shadowtime23]

I agree with Rockoman, but it was better than really good. I love it. Especially when listening to this.

[Zola]

It's great, well expressed emotions you have there (I feel sadness). Who is the girl in your poem?
And I laughed at this:
She has a voice, but she chose not to sing.
He had a tact, but flushed it down a hole.
I know, it will not hurt, but it will sting.
The waste of happiness, distrust in your own role.

[BanHammor]

@Zola: That was my subconcious, actually. I really did not plan for it. And that girl is- well, it is hellishly complicated. She is an introvert pretending to be an extrovert, with existential issues, but a very poetic, direct and beautiful creature. Indulges in self-bashing. Also, subject of unrequited love from lots of people.

Also, it surprising that I coined something that coherent at 1 AM.

[Killing_Time]

Ahoy, MadderMadcat, Vic, etc, you can call me emo all you want.

Would you like some red paint so we can really freshen up the color of that target you placed on your back? I'm not sure people will notice it properly yet.

[Maddermadcat]

Ahoy, MadderMadcat, Vic, etc, you can call me emo all you want.

oh man thanks your permission is exactly what I fucking needed

a real russian man would've drowned his feelings in booze, you've failed your country and your genitals

hand in your gun and badge you walking sack of estrogen

[BanHammor]

Alright folks, I _should_ have posted a video of our gig by now, but sadly, the one who was filming all that stuff is no longer in touch.
Here, have a demo at thee. Hope you like it!

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/463625

[eviltie]

Here, have a demo at thee. Hope you like it!

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/463625

Tool inspired? (:

[BanHammor]

Other people listed: Radiohead, Tool, PinkFloyd, Nirvana, etc.
On this very song, I would rather list those videos where people show off guitars, like ProGuitarShop or Nstuffmusic.

[BanHammor]

Two new lyrics to songs. Using mostly the same rhythmic structure, but that is no crime, right?
To be clear, the second song is mostly a parody of one of my friends. I do not endorse his views.

Your breast goes up
Exhaling angst over your A-cup
You say that I should stop
But baby, you are so funny.
Who you think you are?
Come on, I'll light a cigar.
Loathing yourself, my star?
You should believe me, honey.

You are flat, but you pretend that you are deep.
Just relax, take a bath and fall asleep.
You told me everything.

He's not involved,
All by myself I crawled
And I was shocked and stalled
That you can't get over.
You're mixing fire and ice.
Making me feel so nice
That I am in my flat
In my penny loafers

You can't beat yourself again.
He's a symptom, may have been another man.
You told me everything.

One's sullen mind
Can't erase or hit rewind.
Entrenched in a kind
Of a problem you can't beat.
If what you said is true
What can I think of you?
What have you put me through -
No matter what, I have absolved.

You are nice, but you are nicer as a friend.
Hope someone melts your ice and maybe understands.
You told me everything.

---------- Post added at 10:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:47 PM ----------

Another biting metaphor,
another day, another chore,
And here I'm standing at your door to lend a Wacom.
You open, ask me with a sigh -
"Should I just close or wave goodbye?"
I stare smiling in your eyes and think of bacon.

(Or so I tell my friends)
That's what you think, not that again
I've gotten over, and I can
Just lend your Bamboo Pen!

(Chorus
I'm so creative I write in 15 blogs at once
I've never been gay
That's what I'll tell my newborn sons
But not the daughters cause a lesbian's okay
You hear me - I'm not gay.

I'm thinking maybe you're a man
I've never felt your boobs with hands
Nice haircut, what's with the tan
My lips are sealed shut
Open my mouth, words jumbled up
You as if you should call the cops
And I say "Might I feel your cups
What's with the haircut?"

(And so you'll tell your friends)
The nerve of yours, not that again
I've gotten over, and I can
Just lend your Bamboo Pen!

(Chorus)

You shut the door right in my face
I'll use the mouse if that's the case
A warm trip home and I'll embrace
My stratocaster.
My non-gay friend might non-gay ring
And we'll do total non-gay things
Like dance and play and non-gay sing
Not act slave-master.

(You're thinking of it wrong!)
But never mind, I'll write a song
Or dance and wave my heavy dong
O shit, I let that slip!
(Chorus)