Inside the mind of craig ep1: Dream

[jocki]

Youtube:


Newgrounds: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/546748

I would love some feedback from you guys.

[BanHammor]

(Advice for you: if you upload it on YT, do it in the H264 format, in MKV or MP4. No loss of quality)

[jocki]

(Advice for you: if you upload it on YT, do it in the H264 format, in MKV or MP4. No loss of quality)

How do I do that..? I really had problems exporting this to a video format.

[BanHammor]

Well, I don't know a thing about Flash export, so I thought there was a button for that.
Watched it... Hell, I thought the storyline was only messy in the trailer. I was wrong.

[jocki]

Well, I don't know a thing about Flash export, so I thought there was a button for that.
Watched it... Hell, I thought the storyline was only messy in the trailer. I was wrong.

hahah, storyline..?

[BanHammor]

I thought it would be more than a test.

[jocki]

I thought it would be more than a test.

don't forget.. "Episode 1"

[Yurlyn]

...

I don't like it... It had an end >_>

Jk, that was the most epic defragmented Flash thing I've seen and I DEMAND MOAR NAOW!!
Seriously dude, keep it up. I'm looking forward to see more

[XdbX]

How do I do that..? I really had problems exporting this to a video format.

I do it my putting the video in Sony Vegas and rending at the god damn highest number i can.

[jocki]

I do it my putting the video in Sony Vegas and rending at the god damn highest number i can.

Sony vegas can't import "swf"-files.
and when I export it from flash in some video format (avi,mov) it never renders the whole thing for some reason...

[theone!]

This is awsome Jocki! It really looks like oscar´s style of animation. Keep it up!

[Victory]

don't forget.. "Episode 1"

Yes... But that doesn't mean we don't need context for the madness on screen. I will say that you struck a balance between substance and chaos by actually sneaking in recurring images which catches your focus and kind of tricks you into knowing some of the context, but it's just too chaotic and besides - it's the FIRST episode! We're supposed to get a feel for the scenario, the environment and the characters. What we get are Vietnam flashbacks from Resident Evil - post traumatic stress disorder style - and from that, my expectations are actually pretty low.

Looking at it from an eye candy perspective, I can see why people like it. Looking at it from a story telling perspective, it's too abrupt and fragmented. If this had been interrupted by an actual episode with some context where some basic answers were given, it wouldn't have been so... Unsatisfying to see it end. Just because it's the first episode doesn't mean we aren't supposed to know what's going on. There's a reason why the first episode of a new series is usually longer than the others, it's supposed to draw you in and introduce you to the concept that define the show. It's supposed to catch your interest and suck you in.

... Well... Yeah, I guess you drew my curiosity because I do want to know the cause of that chaotic mess, but it's closer to frustration than genuine interest. Like how people watch Naruto, hating every episode, just to see it end. Not comparing you to Naruto though - I'm not that cruel, and you're not that stupid.

I'll be looking forward to the next episode, if only to see what the hell this episode was all about.

[theone!]

I gotta agree with you.

[Frank]

Kinda looks like my mind.
Awesome animation

[username]

I nergasm'd.
Good work, fckin svd

[Miccool]

Very nice work! Voted and reviewed

[...I'm not telling you!]

Well Jocki, sad to say but I wasn't as entertained as I was hoping I'd be. On terms of animation? Sexy, sexy orgasmic shit, mostly. The organic environments were really well drawn. All of the outlining on objects was consistent and the coloring and lighting effects were really well made, bar a few things, like the red alarm in the scene with the (presumably) confinement cell. All the movements were really smooth, looks like you put a lot of time in to that. Other than lag issues, all of the motion was fine but I can't blame you for that now can I
The one time I was a bit unimpressed with a background mind you, was when the soldier started walking around through the city at a side view point. The building didn't look that detailed. Just looked like a flat one colored block with smaller differently colored blocks in it. But forget that, I really do want to stress how Impressed I was with the animation. The, forest the beach the helmets the guns the blood effects, I really liked the art and animating.

Story-wise, I think I have some vague understanding of what's going on. But, I'm really confused.
Here's what I thinks happening...

Spoiler for My theory on the plot:

OK, Craig's a soldier who during a mission got captured, and since then has slowly been losing his mind. Now someone's come to rescue him. How ever, the helmets the guards/soldiers were using in the building that Craig was bound in, were also the same helmet type he had in his delusions. So, his group has him held up for his insanity? Which leads to the question of who's broken him out.

I'm unsure whether either, the opening episode to the series was a compilation to some of his delusions, a combination of delusions and present timed events to confuse us about what's happening and what's not, or a gradual catch up on his life up until the point where's he'd been imprisoned. I'm assuming that's him tied by the head to the bed at the end. If it's the first possibility, not the best idea to have made it the first episode. Second possibility, fine. It gave me some mild incite to the past events in his life. But, as far as I can tell you've also included some events in the first episode, at the end, that aren't flashbacks, that are actually meant to be present. So the mix of those two, without really explaining which of the two is and isn't present or past make it hard to tell the difference. I mean, that creature with one eye? I'm gonna' take a guess and actually say

Spoiler for guess:

that the creature is him, in his delusions. From what I could tell, it looks like he fell down in his cell on his eye. So he could have hurt it. I remember later on, seeing someone with one stitched up eye. I'm guessing he now only has one eye, so that's why I think the creature is him, and those clips were delusions. I'm just not sure why they were relevant.

If the last option, you really weren't clear enough about what was going on. I've attained some mild understanding of what could possibly be going on, but the clips were so disjointed, and so loosely connected that without any speech, I can't feel confident enough in the possibilities I've thought of. I think, you could have improved this by doing some voice work.
I'm gonna give this a 6/10. Only because I was so confused though. Artwork I gave a full 5, story work did only get a one on my terms though 3:. So, for your next episodes I'd like to see some severe explanation into the storyline. Even if it's someone having to review a file on Craig or something of the like. But still I really do appreciate how long it must have taken to animate and draw. So, I'm really happy with the physical work. Even though, I really believe it could use some work on story developing, above all (for me if for nothing else ) put as much, if not more effort into the animating and artwork :3. Hope this helps you out for the next episodes. How ever that ? at the end of that To be continued.. makes me dread.

[Tobu]

Episode 1 really fits the title of the series "Inside The Mind of Craig"
Vic's right, it's very chaotic and frustrating, but actually, i kinda like that.

It makes me curious about the future episodes.
This episode didn't cover much story up, but i got a really nice impact of your animating-skill. Oscar have met his opponent!

Great work so far, looking forward to Ep2.

[jocki]

Yes... But that doesn't mean we don't need context for the madness on screen. I will say that you struck a balance between substance and chaos by actually sneaking in recurring images which catches your focus and kind of tricks you into knowing some of the context, but it's just too chaotic and besides - it's the FIRST episode! We're supposed to get a feel for the scenario, the environment and the characters. What we get are Vietnam flashbacks from Resident Evil - post traumatic stress disorder style - and from that, my expectations are actually pretty low.

Looking at it from an eye candy perspective, I can see why people like it. Looking at it from a story telling perspective, it's too abrupt and fragmented. If this had been interrupted by an actual episode with some context where some basic answers were given, it wouldn't have been so... Unsatisfying to see it end. Just because it's the first episode doesn't mean we aren't supposed to know what's going on. There's a reason why the first episode of a new series is usually longer than the others, it's supposed to draw you in and introduce you to the concept that define the show. It's supposed to catch your interest and suck you in.

... Well... Yeah, I guess you drew my curiosity because I do want to know the cause of that chaotic mess, but it's closer to frustration than genuine interest. Like how people watch Naruto, hating every episode, just to see it end. Not comparing you to Naruto though - I'm not that cruel, and you're not that stupid.

I'll be looking forward to the next episode, if only to see what the hell this episode was all about.

I know it's a mess. but I wanted it to be like this.. you're totally right with what a first episode should do, but I did just the opposite.
may be not "right" or the best way to draw people in. But at least it makes you feel something.. may it be frustration, it will still make you see ep2... lol

---------- Post added at 11:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:22 AM ----------

Well Jocki, sad to say but I wasn't as entertained as I was hoping I'd be. On terms of animation? Sexy, sexy orgasmic shit, mostly. The organic environments were really well drawn. All of the outlining on objects was consistent and the coloring and lighting effects were really well made, bar a few things, like the red alarm in the scene with the (presumably) confinement cell. All the movements were really smooth, looks like you put a lot of time in to that. Other than lag issues, all of the motion was fine but I can't blame you for that now can I
The one time I was a bit unimpressed with a background mind you, was when the soldier started walking around through the city at a side view point. The building didn't look that detailed. Just looked like a flat one colored block with smaller differently colored blocks in it. But forget that, I really do want to stress how Impressed I was with the animation. The, forest the beach the helmets the guns the blood effects, I really liked the art and animating.

Story-wise, I think I have some vague understanding of what's going on. But, I'm really confused.
Here's what I thinks happening...

Spoiler for My theory on the plot:

OK, Craig's a soldier who during a mission got captured, and since then has slowly been losing his mind. Now someone's come to rescue him. How ever, the helmets the guards/soldiers were using in the building that Craig was bound in, were also the same helmet type he had in his delusions. So, his group has him held up for his insanity? Which leads to the question of who's broken him out.

I'm unsure whether either, the opening episode to the series was a compilation to some of his delusions, a combination of delusions and present timed events to confuse us about what's happening and what's not, or a gradual catch up on his life up until the point where's he'd been imprisoned. I'm assuming that's him tied by the head to the bed at the end. If it's the first possibility, not the best idea to have made it the first episode. Second possibility, fine. It gave me some mild incite to the past events in his life. But, as far as I can tell you've also included some events in the first episode, at the end, that aren't flashbacks, that are actually meant to be present. So the mix of those two, without really explaining which of the two is and isn't present or past make it hard to tell the difference. I mean, that creature with one eye? I'm gonna' take a guess and actually say

Spoiler for guess:

that the creature is him, in his delusions. From what I could tell, it looks like he fell down in his cell on his eye. So he could have hurt it. I remember later on, seeing someone with one stitched up eye. I'm guessing he now only has one eye, so that's why I think the creature is him, and those clips were delusions. I'm just not sure why they were relevant.

If the last option, you really weren't clear enough about what was going on. I've attained some mild understanding of what could possibly be going on, but the clips were so disjointed, and so loosely connected that without any speech, I can't feel confident enough in the possibilities I've thought of. I think, you could have improved this by doing some voice work.
I'm gonna give this a 6/10. Only because I was so confused though. Artwork I gave a full 5, story work did only get a one on my terms though 3:. So, for your next episodes I'd like to see some severe explanation into the storyline. Even if it's someone having to review a file on Craig or something of the like. But still I really do appreciate how long it must have taken to animate and draw. So, I'm really happy with the physical work. Even though, I really believe it could use some work on story developing, above all (for me if for nothing else ) put as much, if not more effort into the animating and artwork :3. Hope this helps you out for the next episodes. How ever that ? at the end of that To be continued.. makes me dread.

Damn... you actually got the eye thing... I'm impressed

and I am currently looking for some voice actors for Episode 2.
So yeah, ep2 will have alot of story in it..
Damn man.. I'm honored you put all this time into my small flash, thank you.

[Bloody Shadow]

Wow. This was awesome. Very well made. But just...... what happened in the flash!?

I didn't understand anything. Soldiers klling each other, a random zombie, random booms etc.. You should make a prologue so viewers could understand the storyline better.

But anyways orgasmic animation dude

[Polo]

It was horribly incoherent, horribly beautiful and horribly confusing and basically everything I like in an animation. I fived you, sir. Please do keep this up : )

[Cajolocs]

I liked it, but what creepy, strange, confusing, stickman animation don't I like? ;)

I like the art, and, well... MY view on the story, since that's all we seem to get.

I sensed some Castle inspiration there... and lack of voice-acting, since some may think that silence is golden, well, I think voice-actors make a living out of talk, and if you ever need one, I'm here (and I can do some creepy voices...)

Keep working on it (if you feel like it, ofcourse... ), and bring to us more episodes... and a script please!

[jocki]

I liked it, but what creepy, strange, confusing, stickman animation don't I like? ;)

I like the art, and, well... MY view on the story, since that's all we seem to get.

I sensed some Castle inspiration there... and lack of voice-acting, since some may think that silence is golden, well, I think voice-actors make a living out of talk, and if you ever need one, I'm here (and I can do some creepy voices...)

Keep working on it (if you feel like it, ofcourse... ), and bring to us more episodes... and a script please!

thanks man! ;DD
that's great, I really need some voices for ep2 =)

[TheOnlyHorse]

Smooth animation and good graphics, but confusing D:

Ask Yurlyn about voice acting, he's great.

EDIT I recognise the splatter brushes btw...

[Yurlyn]

Reply to incoherency talk: I also like that. There are movies which start out completely fragmented and even if this stays this way you'd be able to figure out the whole story. The most Flash movies, if not all, I've seen are linear and to me this is a nice step out of "sanity". Going along with INTY's theories I think you should still keep it fragmented for at least two episodes but make the fragmentation "fade out" so it looks like the soldier gets back to reality because someone finally gives a damn about him and tries to save him. But that's just me trying to help compensate the fragmented and linear storyline lovers

*Sees TOH's recommendation*

O_o

*Flees*

I'm not that great, silly Alien Castle Swarm?