The Pentagon attempts to surpass Evolution

[Howlingwolf214]

It's me, Your friendly neighborhood bringer of irrelevant information.

The Pentagon's mad scientist arm, DARPA, is at it again. And this time they're trying to get one over on Evolution and God.

As part of it's budget DARPA are investing $6 mil in a project called BioDesign. The aim of this project is to eliminate "the randomness of natural evolutionary advancement." No, you didn't read that wrong.

Their plan is to use the latest Bio-tech to create living breathing organisms that are genetically engineered to "produce the intended biological effect." Again, you didn't read that wrong.

Not content with having one over on God DARPA are determined to thwart Death as well. They want the organisms to contain molecules that bolster cell resistance to death so that they can "ultimately be programmed to live indefinitely."

Obviously DARPA doesn't want this to fall into the wrong hands so the GELFs will have loyalty programmed right into their DNA, by developing genetically programmed locks to stop people tampering with the cells. The cells will also be traceable, they're effectively giving their creations a barcode. But, of course, they were thinking of everything and they even decided to give their creations a self-destruct button. They say that they intend to "Develop strategies to create a synthetic organism “self-destruct” option to be implemented upon nefarious removal of organism." Holy ****.

Half of me doesn't want to believe this, the other half is just amazed. These guys make Dr. Frankenstein look all cute and fluffy.

Oh well, creating genetically engineered life-forms sounds like a good idea. Because it has always worked in games and films.

Sources:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/foru...-Immortal-Life
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010...itch-included/

[DrunkCat]

It worked out just fine in Daft Punk's Electroma.

Anywho, seems like a fun project to me. Wouldn't mind taking part in it.

[Victory]

What - are you worried they're going to make more Ahnolds? I mean, they already made one - what's stopping them?

[rainor]

I'm more worried about the "Self-Destruct" thing.

[sgt_Angua]

Are you sure this is real?

Have these people never read Frankenstein? (I thought of this almost immediately since I'm writing a paper on it.) Or, you know, any scifi novel?

[nrocha20]

I'm more worried about the Smile Police. Though this sounds like a recipe for a zombie movie.

[Lucky Joe]

I'm more worried about the Smile Police. Though this sounds like a recipe for a zombie movie.

[xXBrokenBladeXx]

When I read the title I thought the pentagon was trying to grow some more sides...

[Sirrin Nacht]

This would hardly be the strangest project the Pentagon has ever come up with. Hell, during the Cold War they had a little project called "Bat Bomb" in the works for a while. They were going to train bats with little bombs strapped to their bodies to fly inside buildings. I kid you not. Granted, this project was scrapped before it ever got off the ground, but still, the fact that they actually considered such a ridiculous notion in the first place should tell you something.

[Khorne47]

Wasn't that during World war two? They strapped incendiaires to the bats and they went into the houses of the japanese so they burned down. Anyway onto the topic. I don't think people should do stuff like this, it just seems...immoral. I don't think we should control the evolution of other species. I guess we should wait for results though to see what this technology would be used for.

[Sirrin Nacht]

No, it was the Cold War. My history teacher told us about it as a way to make the Cold War more interesting.

[Khorne47]

Oh alright. Then where did I get bats burning down japanese houses from? I still don't think the pentagon will "surpas evolution" with this.

[ArtoriusVonKrieg]

Sounds very interesting, although i doubt it is viable.

[RustyMagnum]

Self-destructing organs sounds like a plan.

No, seriously, someone's attention whoring a BIT again. Like when those Germans claimed Swine flu turned people into zombies.

[Mattbot]

I think it's a great idea, an army of super humans is just what we need.

[DrunkCat]

What's funny is that they're probably going to produce simple bacteria's first.

[Netrosis]

Well, until they can repair quadriplegics this technology ain't going far, and Zombies are still a myth.

[nrocha20]

I said zombie movie. No zombies. Some film-maker will catch on, I shit you not.

[Terazokie]

Aw crap, when will the government learn that some movies actually teach lessons?

[Heroslayer56]

This is actually pretty cool, i know people were working on stem cell research but this?...amazing what people can do today, but dont these people know what happens like in sci-fi movies? The self destruct thing is pretty smart, but thats what im most worried about, i mean its like this,

(You walk up to a person and tap their shoulder)
You: Excuse me, what's the time?
Person: Oh half past (BOOOOOOOOOOOM!)

Exactly.

[Howlingwolf214]

(You walk up to a person and tap their shoulder)
You: Excuse me, what's the time?
Person: Oh half past (BOOOOOOOOOOOM!)

Exactly.

Um, I don't think they're actually going to have a button. And if they do, it'll be internal and controlled by DARPA. And I doubt it will be an explosion.

If anything it will just make their cells rapidly degrade. Which would be... unpleasant.

[Killervirus]

Um, I don't think they're actually going to have a button. And if they do, it'll be internal and controlled by DARPA. And I doubt it will be an explosion.

If anything it will just make their cells rapidly degrade. Which would be... unpleasant.

"Oh half past-AAAAAAAAUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY FLESH! IT IS BURN!"

[Rimmy]

I think the idea is crazy I mean if they screw up on the self destruct button even with one of their experiments they could cause serious trouble (I don't mean zombie apocalypse but it could still be very problematic).